1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize