We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize