we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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