she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sext me about skeletons
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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