Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize