Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize