I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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