just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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