PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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