we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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