So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize