I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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