Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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