TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
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Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize