Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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