YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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