It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He? As in you personified your dick?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He has the fingertips of a God
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