I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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