I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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