Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize