all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize