glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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