I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sext me about skeletons
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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