Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize