Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
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He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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