I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize