so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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