Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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