You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize