Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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