I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Be still, my beating vagina.
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I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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