dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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