More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize