The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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