If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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