just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize