just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize