Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize