I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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