You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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