Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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