Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize