I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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