She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I skipped work to stalk him.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
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so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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