Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize