OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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