Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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