ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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