I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
people are starting to question the shark bite story
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize