he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize